Things My Son, Almost Six Months Old, Has Put Into His Mouth: An Incomplete List

  • the stuffed animal end of a Wubbanub
  • the dog’s ear
  • a tortilla chip
  • guacamole
  • salsa
  • refried beans
  • blocks
  • hair
  • his own fist
  • the bars of his crib
  • my phone
  • my husband’s phone
  • the remote control
  • his dirty socks
  • his clean socks
  • his feet, while wearing socks
  • his feet, without socks
  • a digital thermometer, thankfully just-sanitized and with the cover back on
  • a singing toy cow
  • actually, every toy he has
  • the strap covers of his car seat
  • the straps of his car seat
  • an unused diaper
  • a closed package of baby wipes
  • Goodnight Moon

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